It’s been a while
since I’ve written anything. That’s my
bad. Realistically, I look at my list of
stories that I still need to write and then I decide that Netflix seems like a
better option because words are hard and the couch is soft. I have, however, been pretty vocal politically
lately (as you may have seen from some of my jokes) so I thought I might get in
a quick story that’s in that vein.
Have you ever had
a buddy that is very motivated to talk about politics, but at the same time
seemingly uninclined to actually know much about politics? Here’s a story about one of those situations
from many years ago (somewhere in the neighborhood of 8) about my buddy LP
(from Fridge Cleaning) and another friend of ours that we’ll call Bud to
protect his identity. The 3 of us were
hanging out one night having a few beers when a political conversation started
up (as it tends to happen when people are enjoying alcoholic beverages). I
honestly can’t remember how the conversation started, but that’s not really the
important part, so I’ll pick up with where I tuned in at.
Bud: “Well fuck ‘em. We’re America, the most powerful country in
the world. Anyone that doesn’t like it
can get bombed to hell.”
LP: “But what about
Latveria?”
Bud: “Latveria?”
LP: “Yeah, Latveria. We can’t bomb them. They’ve got satellites that can shoot missiles
right out of the sky with laser beams.
Only 2 countries on earth have that technology. Us and Latveria.”
Bud: “Well that definitely
makes them dangerous.”
LP: “They actually shared
the technology with us. Dr. Doom created
the laser satellites and we entered a treaty with them to share the
technology. They’re one of our strongest
allies now.”
Bud: “Well, obviously we’re
not going to break that treaty and go after a great ally like Latveria.”
LP: “Obviously.”
I will say, I don’t
have a great poker face (which is why I can neither play poker, nor act like I’m
not the one who farted), but this is really the only time in my life that I can
remember not just losing my mind and cluing the victim in on the joke. We never alerted Bud to the fact that he was duped
into honoring a treaty with an entirely fictional country, but I ran into LP a
few weeks ago and almost right away he leaned in and said under his breath to
me, “But what about Latveria?”
A true
diplomat
-Ryan
Obviously
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