Tuesday, April 1, 2025

March '25 Joke Round-Up

  Okay, so the world is an absolute dumpster fire right now but on a personal level I am back to eating all sorts of delicious things post-surgery, the weather is warming up and there’s more daylight, I got some sweet new anxiety meds that are helping me actually fall asleep at night, and I am writing this at the moment with my wife sitting next to me. That’s all pretty fucking neat.  So while I’m here feeling damn near blissful, let’s see what the hell I cracked jokes about this past month.


3/1

My general reaction to everything since getting my wisdom teeth out and being stuck on soft foods.


3/1

Is it possible to only "kinda" get into making sourdough? I feel like either you've never made it or you've devoted your entire life to raising and caring for your flour-based offspring.

Edit: I went with "flour-based offspring" but now I'm wondering if the preferred terminology is "yeastlings".


3/1

I will never stop being mad at those kids who couldn't figure out The Shrine of the Silver Monkey.  It was 3 pieces, for fuck's sake!!


3/4

There's only so many hours in a day and it can be really difficult to fit everything in. Luckily, my body's internal alarm clock helps me find a few hours in the middle of the night to analyze every mistake I've ever made and also read Wikipedia articles about bridges.


3/9

We needed new salt and pepper shakers and we made the most adult decision possible.


3/12

Honestly, my comedy career peaked that time in high school when my friends and I went to an anime convention and I said "I always thought we were pretty unconventional."


3/18

Yesterday I had corned beef and cabbage for lunch.  Then I had corned beef and cabbage again for dinner. Then my wife told me that because of my dietary choices I was not allowed to sleep in the bedroom.


3/26

Gonna download Signal just to see if I can get included in some of these national security convos.


3/26

I was doing daily Spanish lesson earlier today and was quickly matching Spanish words to their English counterparts.  I matched "happy" with "comida" which is a really dumb mistake but honestly says a lot about who I am as a person.


3/26

Just sweet-talking my wife.


3/31

First thing that came to mind when I saw this.


If I tried to come up with clever titles for my monthly round-ups, I guess this one would be “Hot Dogs & Baby Jesus.”  But I don’t write clever names for my round-ups, so that little tidbit is just gonna stay right down here at the bottom where probably nobody will ever read it. Oh well.


-Ryan