Monday, March 24, 2014

Forgive me?

            So, I’m sure my 3 regular readers (is it up to 3 now?) have noticed that I haven’t posted in nearly a month.  And after thinking about it, I think I have a reason (excuse) for that.   I can’t really say for certain why, but I’ve always felt like I’m at my creative best when I’m unhappy about something.  Sure, sometimes I can write and come up with jokes when I’m in a good mood, but I always feel most inspired when I’ve got something that is bugging the hell out of me (perhaps part of the reason I have roommates?).  Some of my funniest moments are when I go on a rant about something that bothers me.

I do have some theories about why my creativity depends on how miserable I am, because this would be a pretty lame post if all I said was “haven’t felt like writing, later.”    Knowing my brain as well as I do, I can say with some level of assurance that it only has 2 settings (like a really cheap toaster).  When I’m in a good mood, my brain is all “Tra-la-la! Parades and rainbows! Fun things are fun” as I blindly coast through life not giving anything a second thought.  This is in stark contrast to my brain’s other setting; when something is bothering me.  On this setting, my brain thinks, and analyzes and critiques.  And then it does all that over again.  It would be super cool if I could direct all of that thinking towards something like astrophysics or literally anything else that would actually be useful, but instead the only thing I end up motivated to do is to pick up a pen and start writing down all of the absurdities flowing through my suddenly overactive brain. 

Most of the things I think of and subsequently write down are quickly thrown away because they’re just not funny or relevant to anything (it’s such a huge change from what I actually do post…).  Then, I take the few things that have the potential to be funny and meticulously tear them apart so I can reconstruct them over and over in my mind, using different words, timing and phrasing.  Of these ideas that I’ve now spent far too much of my day on, I finally feel comfortable with one or two of them and I either throw out the rest or put them on a shelf for further work (or, alternatively, to never touch them again).

What this does is (1) occupy my time, (2) provide you with the best possible jokes/content that I can create and (3) leave my desk a complete mess of half scribbled-on notebook pages (possibly a fire hazard).  See, one thing I firmly believe is that just because you have the ability to write doesn’t mean that you have the ability to write well.  And knowing this distinction is what separates talented writers from people posting fan fiction on Internet message boards (If anyone reading this actually writes fan fiction, I didn’t mean that.  You’re great and you should continue to follow your dreams no matter how creepy and obsessive they are.  To everyone else, I totally meant that).

I’m sure by this point you’re probably wondering what the point of this post is.  And much like the rest of my life, I’m not really sure.  I guess since I draw my creativity from stress and unhappiness, if you truly care about and want me to succeed then you should make it a priority to regularly disappoint me.  And believe me when I say that I haven’t been avoiding my blog because I didn’t feel like positing.  I just haven’t had anything to say because I’ve been in too good of a mood to be inspired and because I care so much about only bringing my readers (I really do hope it’s ‘readers’ plural!) the best content possible.  It’s not you, it’s me.


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