May 2020 Joke Round-Up

Well, May has come and gone and if there’s one thing that I’ve learned it’s that it’s really difficult to find inspiration for jokes if you’re sitting at home and rarely interacting with other human beings.  That being said, jokes were definitely lacking this month.  I did have thoughts on my mind and I started throwing them together into another jumbled mess of a post that I hope to finish and post in the next few days.  For now, here are last month’s jokes. 

5/2 

Kahla: "I have a really bad tension headache." Me: "If it's that bad, it might be elevension." 

Luckily, my family has been able to rely on my great sense of humor to make it through this pandemic. 

5/3 

I am in my basement, shouting to my friends over voice chat about how delicious Zebra Cakes are at midnight on a Saturday night. 

I am making the absolute most of all this time at home. 

5/8 

Quarantine hair, don't care. 

5/13 

I feel like I've learned a lot during this pandemic. And after careful consideration I've decided to submit a proposal to city hall to change the name of my town to Karenland so that it might better reflect the values of an apparently sizable and very vocal segment of the community. 

5/14 

I'd be lying if I said there'd been no tears shed during all this time doing e-learning at home. And some of the crying was even from the kids. 

5/15 

Today is the last day of elearning and I was so proud of my kids for making it to every day of class that I gave them both attendance awards. 

 

5/20 

Is "hungry" a personality trait? Because I feel like that's fundamentally part of who I am. 

5/25 

People are always so worried about social media tracking them for targeted ads that may interest them but yesterday I removed from my FB timeline 5 sponsored posts for different churches inviting me to sermons, so obviously their algorithms are garbage. 

5/25 

This pandemic is a lot more enjoyable if you pretend you're The Winter Soldier every time you leave the house. 

5/26

My family walking in the room to find me passed tf out 5 minutes after I sat down to watch tv. Every time. 

I hope everyone reading this is doing well in the bullshit mess that the world is right now.  And I hope I can write more jokes this month because if I’m not doing that, there’s not much reason for this site to even exist.  So...onward! 

-Ryan