As is tradition, my December round up is the only one of the year that I actually write on the 1st of the following month. It used to be because I was out at the bar partying it up for NYE and now it’s because my NYE is sitting in the basement with my family playing video games together just trying desperately to make it to midnight. This is the most stereotypical-ass “look at how things change when you get older” post ever; let’s just go ahead and stop with that. I came out of the gates hot in December the first few days and then by the end of the month apparently I had nothing at all to be joking about? Well, I guess several of those days at the end of the month I was passed out in bed with ‘rona for the entire day. Anyways, the holidays are officially over and now we enter the stretch of the year with the longest amount of time between those sweet sweet paid holidays. Neat. I will make myself feel better by eating an entire shrimp ring today.
12/3
I don't mean to brag, but I feel like making a bilingual, Christmas-themed "your mom" joke is pretty impressive.
12/3
I have walked back and forth between the kitchen and bedroom 3 times because I'm indecisive about whether I want to eat something or change clothes first and I could've done both of those things already in the time I've wasted.
12/4
Me to myself looking for something to eat this morning: "Bro, fuck it. Nothing in life matters, just eat some fish sticks for breakfast."
12/5
GET THE ENTIRE FUCK OUT OF HERE WITH THIS BULLSHIT
12/8
When I die I want my wife to build me a casket out of wooden pallets and then post it on Pinterest.
12/13
So cozy
12/13
What?
12/21
Me, alone in the house with the Xbox on, gifts and wrapping paper spread out on the floor, food prep and seasonings out on the kitchen counter, eating a bag of chips: "I may have committed to too many things at once."
Welp, I am ready to spend the rest of this day silently screaming into the abyss. Or playing Xbox. Not fully decided yet.
-Ryan