Thursday, December 10, 2015

7 Surefire Signs That She Is Or Isn’t Into You

                I don’t mean to brag, but I spend a fair amount of time on the internet.  It’s great because you can find literally anything you want online.  Need to find out what that weird noise coming from under your car’s hood is? You can look it up.  Need to find out how to fix your broken phone? You can find it (and I did!).  Need to find out what ailment you’re suffering from?  Go to an actual doctor because Web MD will have you convinced that you’re dying.  And because I’m such a pathetic and lonely individual, the wonderful world of targeted online ads is almost always showing me links to articles promising to teach me the secrets of understanding and wooing women.  That’s all fine and dandy, but I’m pretty sure that I could write a book full of tips on the opposite sex.  Actually, a book seems like an awful lot of work, but I am almost entirely positive that I could write a blog post about it, so here goes just a little bit of my wisdom in the realm of discerning the telltale signs that a women is or isn't into you. It can be difficult to read the signs sometimes, but with my help I think you'll be able to navigate through them.  Here are 7 Surefire Signs That She Is Or Isn’t Into You:

She Texts You First
This one is almost a no-brainer.  If you know a girl who goes out of her way to talk to you without you having to initiate contact, then it definitely means that she’s into you because she is looking for reasons to make you a part of her day.  Alternatively, this could also mean that you are a fun and interesting person who she enjoys talking to but has no romantic or sexual interest in whatsoever.  If she isn’t texting you first, it is entirely possible that she is really attracted to you but is unsure of your level of interest and is nervous about interjecting herself in your day, in which you totally need to make the effort to reach out to her first, unless of course she is not interested in you at all and every time you text her she finds it awful and annoying.

She Dresses Up Around You
This is another one that is pretty cut and dry.  We all know quite well that we as humans try to look our best for potential love interests and, surprise, women are humans too that employ the same strategy.   So if she’s clearly made an effort to look good every time you see her, that is a sign that she is into you. But, it could also mean that she just takes pride in her appearance and puts that same kind of effort into her looks all the time. On the other hand, if she tends to be more dressed down when you see her, it could be a sign that she is comfortable enough around you to let down her guard and show you a more natural side, but it could also mean that she just doesn’t give a shit what you think of how she looks because she doesn’t see you as a romantic candidate.

She Talks To You About Other Guys
Alright, if you’ve ever been in this situation you know how much of a heartbreaker and all around awkward situation this is.  When a girl starts talking to you about other guys, it is a pretty blatant indication that you are not in the running for her heart; it’s really a not-so-subtle way of her saying “Hey, back off because I am so not into you and just to prove my point, these are all the guys who rank higher than you on my list of people who I think are worth a shit.”  If a girl starts talking to you about another guy, there’s really no coming back from that unless she’s doing it just to gauge your reaction so she can see if you’re interested in her, or if the guys she is talking to you about are legitimately just friends and she totally wants to jump your bones (do people even still use the phrase “jump your bones”?)

She Holds Eye Contact With You
If a girl keeps steady eye contact with you while you’re talking, it more than likely means that she thinks you’re suspicious and is really worried that you may steal her purse or slip something in her drink.  This is her way of keeping an eye on you to protect herself and is a pretty clear sign that she is not interested in you at all.   Another sign that she is not interested in you is if she doesn’t maintain eye contact with you and instead looks around the room or at her phone or literally at anything else that is not you.  Lack of eye contact signals clear disinterest as she is probably looking around the room for all the emergency exits she could use to get away from your sorry ass.  On the flip side, lack of eye contact could mean that she is quite interested in you but is just overly shy.  And on a more positive note, if she maintains eye contact with you during conversation, it definitely means that she is interested in you and everything that you’re saying and really wants you to notice her noticing you.

She Touches You
Physical contact is a great indicator that a girl is interested in you.  It shows that she is comfortable with you and doesn’t mind breaking your personal bubble so that you two can share a more intimate connection.   If you find yourself in a situation where a girl keeps finding reasons to touch your arm/shoulder/back/leg/etc. then you know without a doubt that she is definitely into you.  This however may not be the case if you two are just a very good platonic friend who she feels comfortable touching in an entirely non-sexual manner and you’re just reading way too much into it.  It’s important to remember that some people are just far more comfortable with physical contact than others.

Her Friends Don’t Like You
Women share everything with their friends and talking about guys they’re interested in is no different.   If her friends don’t like you then you have absolutely no chance with her because either they’ve told her bad things about you or vice versa.  This is absolutely a death knell in your romantic pursuit.   Although, her friends’ dislike of you could very well stem from jealously and/or fear that you may shift the girl’s priorities and leave her with less time for her friends, which would not be a concern for said friends unless the girl in question was totally into you.   With that being said, a good rule of thumb here is that if a girl’s friends like you it’s because she has been gushing about you to them, which means that you have a definite in and she is interested in you romantically.  Be careful though, because her friends may actually just like you because you’re an all-around nice and decent person who has given them no reason to be offended at your existence.

She Laughs At Your Jokes
This is an important one here, because women very consistently rate a sense of humor as an important quality in a mate.  So it makes total sense that a girl who laughs at your jokes is most definitely into you.  It’s even more compelling if she even laughs at your bad jokes, because that is a sign that she is more interested in the person telling the joke than in the joke itself.  On the other hand, it could also be an indication that you are just a truly comically gifted person that is consistently hilarious but whom she has no romantic interest in whatsoever because she really just sees you as a walking joke machine instead of an attractive and desirable human being.

                So there you have it, a plethora of wisdom about reading women’s romantic cues condensed down into an extremely clear and concise list.  Hopefully this cleared some things up for you and will allow you to more accurately judge a woman’s interest  or disinterest in you from here on out.  I can’t quite take all the credit for this; I really do owe a lot of this wisdom to all of my various interactions with real-life women over the years, who have taught me exactly how to tell if they are or aren’t interested in me.  And if my helpful list leads to even one guy realizing that the girl of his dreams really is interested in him or that she is totally not into him at all, well then I consider myself a success.  As for me, my current dating strategy is to develop feelings for women that I’m friends with but never say anything for fear of ruining the friendship, then watch as they fall in love and develop meaningful, lasting relationship with other people while I die alone.  It’s going okay.


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