February 2023 Joke Round-Up

  February is over and that is neat because it’s basically my least favorite month.  Aside from that bit of excitement, there’s not really a lot to say about this past month.  Was a little sick at the beginning of the month and one of my favorite things about any time I get sick is that I end up with a cough that lingers for like 2 months, so this tickle in my throat should finally clear up around Easter; fun stuff.  By that time, we should actually be having consistently warm weather and have bid goodbye to the shit-ass season that is winter.  We are getting into the best part of the year!  And with the way things go in the midwest, I could very well find myself sheltered in a bathroom again.  So about those jokes…

2/6

I've been dealing with some sinus issues the past few days, so I picked up some nasal spray to help with the congestion.  This stuff feels like I've injected Vicks Vaporub into my soul.

2/7

I think my biggest realization since becoming a parent is how stupid all the shit I said to my parents must have actually sounded.

2/11

*me spending my entire round of golf in the woods and sand traps*

"It's not about the destination, it's about the journey."

2/12

I had a dream the other night that I was playing with boobs.  I woke up curled in a ball and rubbing my own knees.  Very disappointing.

2/14

I made a hockey Valentine's card for the league I'm in.

2/14

My wife surprised me with wings from my favorite place in town for Valentine's Day.  So here is my current situation.

2/17

When you're trying to get in some exercise but also wanna enjoy your Friday night.

2/20

Just keeping my options open.

2/21

Why only have Fat Tuesday? I can be fat every day.

2/22

I went in to the office today for some meetings and a team lunch outing. As I was leaving lunch I kinda had to use the bathroom, but figured I'd wait until I got back to the office.    When I got back to the office I was told that due to the weather they are in shelter in place mode.  The shelter in place spot is the bathroom.  Took a pee with an audience.

2/24

I know I'm getting old because I've started to get really excited about jams.

Okay, in my defense when you walk into a little shop that has a bunch of home-made jars of jam on the shelves and you can tell somebody labored over this blackberry jam, that shit looks good as hell.  And it just so happened that I came across similar instances of this two days in a row, in two entirely different locations.  I almost never even eat jam because I’m not much of a bread person, but I got excited about flavors.  It’s fine. This is fine.

-Ryan