Wednesday, March 1, 2023

February 2023 Joke Round-Up

  February is over and that is neat because it’s basically my least favorite month.  Aside from that bit of excitement, there’s not really a lot to say about this past month.  Was a little sick at the beginning of the month and one of my favorite things about any time I get sick is that I end up with a cough that lingers for like 2 months, so this tickle in my throat should finally clear up around Easter; fun stuff.  By that time, we should actually be having consistently warm weather and have bid goodbye to the shit-ass season that is winter.  We are getting into the best part of the year!  And with the way things go in the midwest, I could very well find myself sheltered in a bathroom again.  So about those jokes…


I've been dealing with some sinus issues the past few days, so I picked up some nasal spray to help with the congestion.  This stuff feels like I've injected Vicks Vaporub into my soul.


I think my biggest realization since becoming a parent is how stupid all the shit I said to my parents must have actually sounded.


*me spending my entire round of golf in the woods and sand traps*

"It's not about the destination, it's about the journey."


I had a dream the other night that I was playing with boobs.  I woke up curled in a ball and rubbing my own knees.  Very disappointing.


I made a hockey Valentine's card for the league I'm in.


My wife surprised me with wings from my favorite place in town for Valentine's Day.  So here is my current situation.


When you're trying to get in some exercise but also wanna enjoy your Friday night.


Just keeping my options open.


Why only have Fat Tuesday? I can be fat every day.


I went in to the office today for some meetings and a team lunch outing. As I was leaving lunch I kinda had to use the bathroom, but figured I'd wait until I got back to the office.    When I got back to the office I was told that due to the weather they are in shelter in place mode.  The shelter in place spot is the bathroom.  Took a pee with an audience.


I know I'm getting old because I've started to get really excited about jams.

Okay, in my defense when you walk into a little shop that has a bunch of home-made jars of jam on the shelves and you can tell somebody labored over this blackberry jam, that shit looks good as hell.  And it just so happened that I came across similar instances of this two days in a row, in two entirely different locations.  I almost never even eat jam because I’m not much of a bread person, but I got excited about flavors.  It’s fine. This is fine.


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