Man, I was really hoping that rapture would finally be the real one this time. Could’ve been pretty fucking cool. Guess I’ll just keep going to work and writing my lil jokey jokes while Rome burns. Okay, well then.
9/1
I like that my brain recognizes that I'm dealing with depression but still talks shit on myself for being lazy. What a delightful combination of self awareness and assholery
9/13
If at any point in my life I own a Ford Explorer, I am absolutely naming it Magellan. I also briefly considered Vespucci.
9/14
I love that I, a grown ass man, can walk into a grocery store and think to myself, "My life would absolutely be enhanced if I could have chicken nuggets that are shaped like dinosaurs" and just achieve that dream right there.
9/16
We as a society have an unspoken agreement that everyone is allowed to freely fart in the bathroom without feeling embarrassed or having to say "excuse me." And it is not my fault that the bathroom at work doubles as the storm shelter.
9/18
I AM SO UNBELIEVABLY UPSET THAT THIS DOESN'T SAY "MITOCHONDRIA IS THE POWERHOUSE OF THE CELL"
9/23
Another day, another rapture that isn't happening. Getting real tired of constantly having to reschedule this shit in my calendar.
9/24
My wife sends me the sweetest messages.
Man, I fucking hate fall.
-Ryan
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