February 2026 Joke Round-Up

  I don’t really have a lot to say about this month.  Every day is more absurd and I’m just writing my little jokey-jokes.

2/6

I didn't really read any news ahead of time about who or what was going on with the opening ceremony of the Olympics, so I don't know if Mariah Carey was a surprise to everyone or just to me.  But of all the things I was not expecting, I think I was not expecting Mariah Carey the most.

2/6

Honestly, I think I am mostly just angry that Mariah Carey was there and they didn't even have her sing "Fantasy".

2/6

As long as I live, I don't think I will ever not be excited about Jamaican bobsled teams.

2/8

2/13

You know how when you tie down something in a trailer or truck it's standard practice to grab the strap, give it a little shake, and say "that's not going anywhere"?  Do people do the same thing for bondage?

2/14

Getting some mixed signals from this place.

2/21

You're never "too good" to eat cold spaghetti at midnight like a gremlin.  Stay humble.

2/26

I fucking love vlookups. I would name a dog Vlookup just so I could tell it I love it. And then I'll get a 2nd dog and name it Pivot Table.

2/28

Crossed up some wires in my brain today when Carly Simon's "You're So Vain" was playing and I was trying to apply the lyrics to Dave Coulier.

I’m gonna go dissociate for a while.  Later!

-Ryan