Thursday, July 30, 2015

An Entirely Useless Update

                It’s been a while since I’ve written anything.  Actually, let me rephrase that, it’s been a while since I’ve finished writing anything.  I say that because I still have half-finished stories on my desktop about going to New Orleans with Knuckles, going on a float trip and staying in the worst cabin ever (unless you’re a big fan of black mold, rancid water and rats), and some fun anecdotes about some bachelor parties I’ve been on (names have been changed to protect the mostly-innocent).

                Speaking of bachelor parties, that’s basically what I’ve been up to: bachelor parties and weddings.  Naturally, none of them are my own because life hasn’t changed that much and I haven’t come into enough money to trick people into thinking I’m attractive and desirable yet.  And really, I’m only mentioning that I’ve been busy with weddings and bachelor parties this month so that I have an excuse for why I haven’t finished writing anything new yet.  And I’m only making this post with the aforementioned excuse because I want to have at least one post between my June & July Joke Round-Ups, because otherwise I just look really lazy (not that I’m not lazy). 

                So, this post is basically just that awkward small-talk you make when you and another person are both waiting for something in the vicinity of one another and you don’t just want there to be nothing but silence between you, despite the fact that you’re well aware that you have nothing to talk about. (This whole sentence makes me want to remind you to read Text Anxiety if you haven't yet).
                One final thing I think worth mentioning, especially if you’re a long-ish time follower of my blog, is that Jon Stewart’s final episode of The Daily Show is coming up quickly, next week actually.  As you know, I wrote a very compelling article about why I should be thenext host, but I was (unceremoniously) passed over for the job (which, I cannot stress enough, is complete bullshit).    If I’m being completely realistic (and mildly delusional), there’s probably still a very good chance that Comedy Central realizes they made a huge mistake and offers me the job in the near future.  I’ll play hard to get at first, but we all know that I’ll accept the job.  In the meantime, I’ll put an honest effort into actually finishing some of these half-finished posts that are just sitting there taunting me.  Once I catch back up with that, maybe I’ll run for president or something.  Seems like everyone is doing that these days.  And I probably wouldn't be the worst option.


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